“This was our starter home.”
“Welcome to our tiny home!”
“Please don’t mind our small home.”
“Yes, our kids share a bedroom, it isn’t that bad… we are finishing the basement.”
These are common phrases I would mutter under the pressure to please others as they entered our home. Instead of welcoming the fellowship, or enjoying my love for entertaining & showing hospitality, I focused on my insecurities; I was embarrassed.
Over the past 6 years I began to embrace minimalism. Each time I purged I felt relief, & some guilt from my selfish consumption & never-ending wanting. I did one yard sale & then felt donating was best. Donating got the clutter out immediately & helped others in need. My cleaning routine was simpler, I was happier, my husband & children noticed. Less was definitely more. But still……
I was embarrassed of what God had provided for us for 14 years.
I was ungrateful.
“But my God shall supply all your need according to his riches in glory by Christ Jesus.”Philippians 4:19
Was I truly this shallow? Did I only desire to impress others not genuinely host them with love & kindness? Why did I feel my true value relied on the size of our home? Oh Lord, forgive me.
We had been working on remodeling our home over the last two years to prepare to sell it. We had learned hard lessons from financial mistakes & for being “young & dumb” as we had bought into the consumerism lies. We were determined to pay off our debt, save money, sell our home & buy a more suitable home. Not necessarily just “bigger” but practical for our families needs. As I began to pray for the season to come I also began to pray prayers of thanksgiving for our current home. “God, help me see your glory within these walls. Fill my heart with thanksgiving, help to me appreciate all you provide for it is sufficient, more than I deserve.”
The time to came to “stage” our home for selling. I refused. I did clean. Okay, I cleaned a lot, maybe a little obsessively. But, this was “our home” & it was going to be seen for what it was. Finally! Have you ever had one of those moments where God like literally blows you away with how mightily He moves? This was one of those moments for us. God sold our house (the one we had complained about so much, thought how awful it was, the one we were so scared no one would want) in ONE day!
“For the Lord God is a sun and shield: the Lord will give grace and glory: no good thing will he withhold from them that walk uprightly.”Psalms 84:11
God had steadily provided for us the past 14 years as we began our marriage & raised young children. God would continue to provide into this new season.
As I drove away from our sweet little home for the last time God answered my prayers. Thanksgiving overflowed, tears flooded my eyes. Our house wasn’t ever something to be embarrassed of, it was something to be proud of! I am proud of the home we made. Our hands worked to transform it from the inside out all while God’s hand worked to transform us. Walls torn down. Weeds uprooted. Seeds planted. A marriage restored. Raising up 3 mighty arrows.
Our house may have been small but so much abounded within those walls. Tears were cried, boo boo’s kissed, dancing, laughter, family meals at the table, scripture read, kisses, morning quiet times, sweet Summer afternoons in the pool, Autumn evenings spent fireside, windows open to the crisp breeze & sounds of crickets singing us to sleep, Christmas mornings, birthday parties, family movie nights, tickle fights, floor picnics, bedtime stories, piano playing, bible studies, sleepovers, dark days of sickness, & bright days of healing. Love grew here. We grew here. Now we move forward towards our new home with hearts full of thanksgiving & these sweet memories sustaining us till we make more. As for me & my house, no matter the size, we will serve the Lord.