Time has passed swiftly, Spring ended & Summer has nearly come & gone. My original intention for Summer was to continue my focus on growth, specifically the fruits of the spirit. My Spring bible study was by Well Watered Women called Planted. Planted focused on planting our roots firmly in Christ. I was ready to grow, to flourish, to bear fruit; Jesus had other plans.
Disclaimer: I desire to return to blogging at Autumn Anchor with transparency & honesty. While I am aware some may not agree with what I am about to say now & in writing to come or my future approach. I want you to hear my heart that I only desire to share Christ & His truth. Glorifying God is why I write.
“Whatever you do, work heartily, as for the Lord and not for men,”Colossians 3:23
Starting my blog was a lengthy process. God had made it clear that this ministry was not going to grow faster than my children. It is clear my first ministry is within the walls of our home, my children & my husbands heart. Before going live I struggled to begin my writing & with the design of my site. I desired to serve God fully through this work. I wanted to pursue this differently than most. It was surprising how much criticism I received in this area from people in my life, christian people. I didn’t want to ask for money in any form like a donation button. I didn’t want to have social media, it is an area that I personally do not agree with using it, I don’t align with it as it has caused much negativity within our society & wastes time. Social Media also is an issue for me as it causes me to feel depressed, angry, almost heavy as I am carrying what everyone else is posting & projecting.
Writing began & as I prayerfully sought God His Holy Spirit led those words. It was a beautiful process. It was His perfect timing. I released it to those close to me & to the public. As many would tell me I was gifted in my writing, or had a way with words, I let myself shift. I gave in. Within a month I had an Instagram account, I was obsessively tracking my site visits, my reach, my posts likes, etc. Spring came & I was exhausted mentally & had stopped writing. I decided to fast social media during the Lenten season. The break was so needed in my life. Again, I realigned with my values & desires with the blog & I was ashamed of what I had given into. Yet, I continued after Lent.
Summer came & I had a “moment” one day. I was looking over my instagram account with 700+ followers, post on top of post that I needed to “sell” myself, “brand” myself, set goals, post stories, yada yada yada. What part of this was glorifying God? A picture of my lunch surely wasn’t doing that. I felt so embarrassed at my level of vanity & foolishness. I want to share the gospel so that souls don’t go to Hell, not share what I am eating! It didn’t matter how “good” I was at crafting a post or a photo, it was pointless, it was not who I wanted to be. I was also spending way too much time crafting the material leaving my housework behind & missing out on valuable time with my family. I stepped away for a break again.
Reluctantly, I got back on social media after my break, which was wonderfully peaceful. I didn’t even want to post. I didn’t even want to look at posts. It lasted a few days & one night I was putting our children to bed, I was reading my bible as they fell asleep, & I heard it: “why would you waste my time on social media when I could be praying, worshipping, serving, working, or even resting, all to glorify the Lord?” It wasn’t audible, but it was profound. I immediately deleted my Instagram account. I felt a weight drop off of me. I repented for my selfish actions & perspective on selfish gain. I knew my thoughts were unhealthy focusing on numbers, followers, & looking to see if a donation had been made. I humbled myself & repented. All I felt from this moment forward was peace.
One of my last conversations on Instagram was with another Christian blogger/writer. She had posted within her story asking if others struggled with the usage of social media. I thought, “Yes! Someone who gets it!” so I responded. I poured out my heart in how social media made me feel, how I struggled personally with it, & how if it were truly God’s will for my words or testimony to help another they would be led to it. Her response was not what I expected. It was honestly the lame excuse I have heard from many as to why they “hate” social media but “can’t” give it up. She stated it was hard, & that at times it seemed she was doing it for nothing. but it was “necessary” as a blogger/writer, & she closed with “I don’t expect people to find my blog magically.” What? I questioned if I insinuated that God was magical… I didn’t. So you are a christian, supposedly writing for the Lord, yet you feel social media holds the key for the progress & future of your work? Not Christ, the one to whom you are claiming to glorify, the one who’s will this supposedly is? I disagree.
While social media may be a tool, some are able to use rightfully, it is not God. But yet, maybe society has made it into a god, I can see that. I however will not place God, the Great I Am, in a box. His miracles & Word testify His greatness. He can & will direct my paths with this ministry with or without social media. For me it will be without for it was a hinderance. You will see that I have also removed my affiliate links & my donate button. I apologize that they were on my site at all. I am not here for the fame, the follows, the likes, or money. I am not here to type what you want to hear, agree with the world & the false teachings of many, or to claim that “I” know it all. I am here to share with you what God teaches me during each season, to be honest about my sin & failures, to grow alongside you, & to share the infallible Word of God with you. I am looking forward to this Autumn Season at Autumn Anchor. I will close with my final social media post that was written after much prayer & scripture study. Thank you Lord for leading me back onto your path, the narrow way. Joshua 24:15 will apply to my blog just as much as it will apply to our home.
“Jesus, I feel your Holy Spirit steering.Kendra Tucker
A gentle wind grabs hold of my sail.
Hands that need to lay down the phone & pick up your word.
Hands that yearn to write, praise, & pray.
Eyes that are weary from scrolling & analyzing too much of this world, other’s worlds.
Eyes that want to focus on You alone Lord.
Disconnect to Connect.
My anchor isn’t to be dropped here.
Your hole scarred hands outreached, I hear you whisper “follow me.”
I’m stepping out of the boat.
I’m walking on the water away from distractions.
I’m choosing Jesus.”