• Fit & Faithful,  Healing Harbor

    Ding Dong the Witch is Dead

    Remember the scene from The Wizard of Oz where the house is in the middle of a twister? Winds rage, the foundation is shaken, cracked, all possessions are being tossed to & fro. Dorothy observes her greatest fears within the wind just before the house comes to a crashing halt landing in munchkin land. This is a clear depiction of the my life leading up to my wilderness season. Storm Warning Looking back I can now perceive the many warnings God presented but my “christian” to-do list deprived me of my sight & disabled my discernment. My structure was not standing upon a firm foundation, I was not at all…

  • Fit & Faithful

    Desolate Wilderness: Part III

    “I can see the ivy, growing through the wall; ‘Cause you will stop at nothing to heal my broken soul.” Kari Jobe, “The Garden” Healing is a difficult process. I would love to tell you that once I had explanted my breast implants that I was miraculously healed (it definitely would have felt better at the time) but the fact that I wasn’t created an even larger miracle that I can share & warrants even greater glory to God! Physical symptoms began to disappear immediately as I previously shared through photos, but, deeper issues remained. A pit; mentally I was in a deep cavernous pit. Anxiety had consumed me. For…

  • Healing Harbor

    A Letter to My Body

    Written 12/13/2017 To My Body,  Today we took a shower. It has been less than 48 hours since I tortured you once again. Less than 3 years ago I violated you. I told you, you weren’t good enough while I looked at you with disgust. I had tried for years to make you different, like someone else. I dressed you uncomfortably & forced pads & underwires to increase where I felt you lacked. I misused you to feel loved. I exposed you for attention. Then I took it even further, I forced you to sleep & let another forcefully insert foreign objects into you thinking they would complete you, they…

  • Fit & Faithful

    Desolate Wilderness: Part I

    You know the term late bloomer, well, I was more of a “never” bloomer. I always felt self-conscious about the lack of chest size, I would even wear a padded bra under my sports bra when I played soccer so I wouldn’t look so flat. Most of us can think of something right off the bat that we dislike, or would change, about ourselves. Breast augmentation was something I joked about often. As I was pregnant with each of our 3 children I would marvel through the pain of milk production because for a short time I had size C breast. After delivery I would deflate right back into reality.…

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